Love's Gathering Place

All Good Things...

Certainly, almost everyone has heard the phrase "all good things come to those who wait"...there's nothing to debate about that.  And I do believe just about every language and dialect on the planet has its own version of this saying.

So, when does it happen for those of us whom are still waiting?  That's what I've often wondered...and continue to wonder.  I'm the kind of person who is quite laid back, sure I do have a temper, but it takes quite a bit to get it going (unless of course someone has done something wrong to my son, but that's a story for another day) and I am not a grudge-holder.  It takes too much bloody energy to stay angry at someone and to continue to hold on to it long after the wrong has been forgotten.  And yes, I do believe firmly that everyone should be given a second chance, because that's what God has given us (and some of us have had 10th and 20th chances...and are still counting!).  I believe that nothing is so nefarious that the person who is truly repentant and contrite cannot be forgiven, no matter how heinous the deed or word.  Perhaps some would think I am naive, but that is the way I choose to live my life.

So, back to the original topic, why does it seem that the nice people are always the ones who have to wait for everything?  I often struggle with this, i seems that the most dishonest people are the ones who get the big breaks, who find the love of a lifetime and they are generally the ones who seem to be the least deserving of their blessings.

But then again, who am I to determine whom should and should not receive blessings?  After all, God   Himself said that he chooses whom He will bless and whom He will not. 

I must admit though that the human side of me (as opposed to the side striving to live a solidly grounded Christian life) often struggles with this.  I think for me, it is often most apparent with my relationships (the romantic ones).  In any relationship I am a giver, but never more so than in a romantic relationship (I think even my ex-husband would agree that I was not a selfish wife and that I was very giving and focused on his needs - and mine also).  But here I am still single...and I look around at the people who are in relationships and many of them appear to be some of the most selfish, demanding and self-centered people around! 

So I have to be honest and say that I must wonder what I am doing wrong (and yes, I did figure out one thing based on my most recent experiences - do not for one second think that men who claim they are Christian and God-focused are any different from the men who are more secular focused!!).  It is amazing though when I think of it - you often hear men talk about wanting an independent woman, one who is not relying on him for every little thing, one who is solidly grounded, someone loving and caring...but they get involved with women who (at least on the outside) do not exemplify what they are looking for.

But then again, perhaps, that is the answer - save the softness for behind closed doors.  So regardless, I will continue to wait for my good thing and know that when my heart and his are ready, God will indeed bring us together, just as he did all the great loves in His holy word.

Either way, I continue to wait (as Psalm 27 reminds us) and know that God's plans for me are plans for good, not evil and that every good and perfect thing comes from the Lord. 

My recent experience has taught me how true that last one is - when you have doubts about something, chances are God's not in it and you shouldn't be either! 

Never forget that God does things decently and in order...so wait for Him and remind yourself daily that all good things do indeed come to those who wait upon the Lord!

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Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Truth Starts with Love...not Lies

As I sit here in the coffee shop, writing this post, I think back over the events in the last week which have led me to this point....one event in particular.  And its made me realize that throughout our lives, no matter how old and experienced we may think we are, the lessons never stop.  There is always something God wants us to learn, or needs to reveal to us...

It's true what people say, that we should never judge a book by its cover, but sometimes, even after we've uncovered the book and started reading, we discover that it was not what we had originally thought or expected.  Someone whom I had met some time ago and had gotten to know rather well (or at least I thought I had) turned out to be a complete scum bag and a liar to boot.  Not only was I so very disappointed to find out what he had done, but I was also very hurt by his selfishness and machinations.

At first, I felt crushed, devastated, because I felt that I had lost a good friend...but after a while, I realized that this person was never really my friend.  Since our entire relationship had been based on a series of compounded lies, a true, honest friendship could never have existed between the two of us.

Relationships which are founded on lies will never survivie the true test of time, nor will they survive the test of storms that ALWAYS come in any relationship.  Friends argue and disagree, siblings do the same, so do husbands and wives.  But each of those relationships will only survive if they are based on truth and love.  That's what Paul meant when he told the Corinthians that "the greatest of these is love."  1 Corinthians 13:13  

The reason why love is the greatest gift is because it is the truest.  Without it, no relationship will survive and the rifts that come cannot be healed without love.  That's the most hurtful part, I thought this person really did care for me (not in a romantic sense) and loved me as a friend.  But, I found out to my emotional detriment that he had never been a true friend.  He had only focused on the things he wanted, he had been a glib talker, and his affections had never passed the affection he has for himself and himself only.  He lied to me and in the end, our friendship could not survive that because he was not true.

When I think of all the things he had said to me over the time we knew each other, all the times he had encouraged me during my ongoing weight-loss program, the times he had given me advice about my writing and ideas, I think to myself "what can be believed from his words?" and the unfortunate answer is "nothing."  I cannot believe anything he ever told me since the entire friendship was based on nothing but lies, deceit and selfishness.  Even that, I can no longer call it, we never had a friendship because the whole thing was a house of cards built on his mountain of lies.

A relationship must be based on truth, which can only come from affection and love...anything built on lies (even partial truths) will not survive.

And the entire time, I only wanted to be his friend, to encourage him in his goals, his dreams and to be a true friend...one whose friendship is based on charitable love. 

I will say this though, I will continue to pray for him that he will mature and learn the value of true friendship.  He lost a true friend in me, through his own deceitful machinations, but having prayed for him many times before, I will continue to do so and hope that God will continue to mold and shape him into the man God wants him to be.

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"They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship." Psalm 109:5

Patience...

Patience has never been something easy for me...and I can honestly say that it is not an easy thing for most people.  But, of all the virtues noted in the Bible, this is one which God mentions very frequently (probably because He knows that we will struggle with it). 

I find that in the current times, with society being so incredibly focused on me first- me now, it is even more difficult to exercise patience.  But exercise it, we must, after all we are told to "wait upon the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:13)  God told His people many times throughout the Old and New Testaments to wait...wait for Him, that by waiting (and through constant prayer), we would renew our strength in Him.  This is especially true for me.

You see, I continue to wait and (try diligently) to be patient for that special guy who is destined to be my mate and I his...and it gets tougher each year that I get older.  Over the last several years, I have had to let go of a number of dreams with regards to family which I had held onto since I was a little girl.  For example, having a lot of children, having a golden anniversary (50 years), being married only once and growing old with that person.  Now, of course, many of these things can still happen for me, and I do take heart in that fact daily.  I pray each day that God would prepare a good, Christian man to be my husband and that when our hearts are ready, that He will bring us together.  An excellent prayer and a diligent one...but it doesn't change the fact that I still struggle with being single many days.

A week or so ago, I had a reallytough evening dealing with this issue.  That weekend, I had gone to a friend's surprise birthday party which her husband had arranged for her, and a few weeks before that I had received a wedding invitation for one of my younger sister's best friends.  I guess these two events just brought everything to a head for me, and I sat in the car wondering if I would ever have moments like these.  Would I ever have a wedding to celebrate (the first one was done by a preacher but without all of the ceremony) ?  Would there ever be a special man in my life, one who loves me to distraction, who thinks I am beautiful inside and out, and for whom I am his desire?

A good friend told me the other day that yes, one day these things will happen for me.  He gave me a hug, and told me that there would one day be a special guy in my life, one who would love me completely, who would treasure and cherish me.  He comforted me and held me close until the tears stopped.  He also told me that I needed to expand the environments in which I traveled. 

I took heart in his words that night and realized that he was right, so I have been doing that for the last several days and continuing to pray and wait.  So, I continue to take hope that one day God will bring that special man into my life (and He may already have...but our hearts may not be ready yet) and that when our hearts are ready...

So, I continue to work on my patience while waiting on the Lord and knowing that one day, He will bring a special man into my heart...when our hearts are ready.

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"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12)